


Falling for You

by Whuffie



Series: Cozy Autumn Prompts [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Comedy, Dad Jokes, Fun, Humor, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:28:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27061219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whuffie/pseuds/Whuffie
Summary: Prompt: Falling for YouPairing: Friendships / Non romantic - Dorian, Iron Bull, Blackwall, Cassandra, InquisitorTime Period: During Inquisition and before TrespasserRating: TWarnings: Bad punsContent: Action and Dad jokes.
Series: Cozy Autumn Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975045





	Falling for You

It was a Greater Mistral. Big. Scaley. Trying to gobble all of them up. Annoyed beyond all belief. Able to spit more ice than the average Orlesian noble at a social event. It was just as flashy as a bunch of Orlesians, too, with all its buffed, brightly colored scales. The dragon probably ate fewer people than they did, but was just as fancy as their clothes. That was beside the point.

How did Audrie know exactly what kind of dragon was screeching like a terror demon someone stuffed into a corset? Because after so many flying menaces tried to turn her into a flaming, toasted mage kabob, she’d learned everything she possibly could about dragons. The shape of the head, coloration, and placement of horns signified a specific breed. “Ever so helpful to know what’s trying to swallow you whole,” she hissed with dripping sarcasm under her breath.

“Dorian!” she belted in the general direction of the other mage as she ducked beneath a spiked tail the size of a tree. “Shoot it with fire! It’s vulnerable to flames!”

“Shoot it where?” Dorian demanded, somehow keeping his balance on a boulder and managing a debonair pose which would have done credit as a cover for one of Varric’s Swords and Shields books.

“In the mouth, up it’s aft end -- I don’t care, just shoot it!” Ice rained down around her, freezing batches of red and gold leaves as they pelted the top of her head. She knew it was fall, but this was ridiculous.

“Has anyone told you that you have a very quaint and eloquent way with words?” Dorian called back across the field with a sardonic, mocking laugh.

“All the time! Don’t make me set Sera on you when we get back to Skyhold!”

“The horror!” Dorian snorted, sounding anything but terrified. “Whatever will I do?” He and Audrie coordinated an attack of swirling flames around the beasts head.

While it was distracted, Bull ran in with his usual dragon killing enthusiasm, bellowing almost indecently. He swung his two handed sword, aiming for wing membranes or joints. Cassandra tried to give him some cover with her shield and Blackwall closed in from what they all hoped was the dragon’s blind spot.

A hind foot the size of the Free Marches drug furrows in the ground with it’s claws before mule kicking Blackwall. His shield came up, taking some of the impact, but he flew backward through the air until he landed hard on his back. From past experience, the Inquisitor knew his shield arm was badly bruised or broken from the incredible force. The bearded bear of a man was weakly moving his legs, but couldn’t regain his feet.

“Cassandra! Healing potion to Blackwall!” Twitching meant alive. Not running or screaming meant injury. Audrie was relieved he was still among the living, but he wouldn’t be for much longer if the dragon got its teeth over him. She had a warm place in her heart for Blackwall. The last thing she wanted was her friend to wake up in the belly of the beast as an icicle.

Cassandra didn’t waste time and Audrie threw a magical shield around the Seeker as she boldly barreled beneath the dragon’s chest, weaving through legs. It snapped at her, huge maw descending to give Cassandra a view of draconic dental hygiene from the inside of its mouth.

Audrie didn’t envy her. Yuck.

A confused expression seeped over the mistrel’s stiff face as it chewed ineffectively on the transparent magical barrier. Never one to waste an opportunity, Cassandra drove her sword upward into the roof of the creature’s mouth, aiming for a weak point which would skewer the brain.

The dragon got crankier and spit Cassandra out faster than stinkstalk. Blood ran in ropes from the corners of its mouth, but it didn’t have the decency to roll over and actually die.

“Pity,” Dorian commented loudly enough for the group to hear. “I thought we might be done in time for lunch!”

“You’re going to _be_ lunch if we don’t finish this thing off!” Audrie grumped, joining him in another fire attack. Bright blasts of orange pummeled down, sizzling through scales and making the creature belch a volley of ice toward anyone in its beady, vengeful gaze. Who knew a flaming dragon smelled like chicken? If she lived long enough to pen memoirs, maybe she could write a cookbook. _101 Ways to Roast Dragons: Eat before being Eaten._

Blackwall sprang upright as Cassandra flung aside the empty potion bottle. Charging toward the dragon while sheltering behind their shields, they gave Bull the distraction he needed to launch himself at the opposing wing. His sword slashed it to ribbons, assuring the monster was grounded. It was just as deadly, but lost the advantage of strafing by air.

It threw back its head and shrieked, spewing furious arcs of ice across the battlefield. Wide eyed, Dorian threw himself into a cluster of boulders for shelter. Bull flattened and hugged the grass, inspiring Audrie to follow his example. Blackwall folded to his knees, head tucked behind his shield, and Cassandra rolled beneath the blistering cold. While it’s head was still in reach, the Seeker thrust her sword through the tough sinew and muscles of its neck where they connected to the head. Putting all her weight into the strike, she plunged the blade deep, twisted it, and watched the life drain out of its baleful eye.

While she took a much needed breath, Audrie cautiously picked herself up, boots slipping on the premature ice crust. “Is everyone all riiii–eeeeeetttttt!”

Although dead, the dragon’s tail spasmed a final time, socking the Inquisitor squarely in the gut. She sailed for a sickening moment before crashing to earth. The world was still tumbling and spinning when her mind processed there was nothing under her feet. Showers of pebbles and mud flaked from under her soles as she slid over the edge of a cliff. Her fingers instinctively clawed for purchase, slipping on the wet vegetation slithering out of her grasp.

“Inquisitor!”

“She’s over the cliff!”

“Help me pull her up!”

A cacophony of familiar voices broke out as she didn’t dare breathe. All her weight was in her arms and the precarious finger hold which kept her between life and death was slipping. _What a stupid way to die. What will they tell Cullen? I don’t want to leave him. Not now, just when I’ve started to love him. What are they going to do about closing Rifts?_

She hung between disaster and survival for less than a minute, but it could have been ten lifetimes before strong grey hands grabbed one wrist, anchoring her. Gloves and gauntlets clamped around the arm, and Dorian latched on to the back of her coat.

“We’ve got you,” Blackwall’s calm, serious voice reassured her. Steady warriors inched her to safety.

“Don’t let go, Boss,” Bull agreed and gave her a mighty heave which hurled her into a pile of armor, padding, mud, ice, and people.

Her heart hammered in her ears and giddiness flooded through her body as it always did when she narrowly escaped certain death. Breaking out into a fit of giggles, she took the staff which Dorian placed into her hand. “Thank you,” she gasped, rocking into a sitting position as the other mage knelt beside her. “You know what? I almost fell for you.” She dissolved into peals of high pitched, manic laughter.

“Naturally,” Dorian retorted mildly, “but I think there’s a strapping young templar who might object.”

Audrie plopped face first into the grass, ignoring how it froze her nose, and tried to stop. “He’s not – he’s not a templar any more.” The preposterous fact she’d chosen Dorian made her heave with even more ill-timed laughter. He was a very handsome man, but lacked all romantic interest in women.

Audrie gulped down air and coughed a few times. Blackwall and Cassandra had seen her in this state before, so the bearded warrior rubbed her back until it passed.

When she finally sat up, she pushed tangles of blond hair out of her face and focused on breathing. “That was too close.”

Nobody disagreed, although Dorian arranged a very put upon expression to hide the fact he enjoyed her enthusiastic hug. “Yes, well, do be more careful next time, will you?” He patted the top of her head. “I haven’t enough friends to go losing them over the edge of cliffs you know.”


End file.
